Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

after a long time..

May 3, 2015

“More you read, better you can express your view in writing. ”

Speaking my mind has never been my style, I have serious trust issues. I don’t intend to work on them.

Exactly what bugs me more, I can’t say. People laughing at me is one of the look out, though i don’t care about them more now.

Anyways, as a sub-heading to this blog it is a Mood-Swing Zone and I am a moody person by heart.

So swings are bound to be tolerated.

Thank you

Road to Zion

August 26, 2014
I don’t have a specific taste for music. I can not say I like Rock, Pop, Bollywood or Classical.
The song is always for a specific mood..
Today, music has got a very diverse and vast distinction in genre. Artists are experimenting like anything now a days.
Just now surfing the internet I found this song, you can feel the beats.
  
Damian Marley – Road To Zion (Feat. Nas) 

I hope you enjoyed it too.

Meeting Etiquettes

August 17, 2010

Have you ever embarrassed your Manager ‘unintentionally’ ? If answer is no, then read on. If yes, still read on for new ideas.

Billi – The Sardar

Ever since we were assigned to our first project in our first job, new joinees have done nothing but entertaining our teammates. This is one such funny story of my fellow colleague and friend whom we call Billi. And he is pakka Sardar.

This scenario is of our first meeting that we attended with our Manager, it was team meeting. We were in total 7 including our Manager.
Kahani mein twist hai …… Aadmi saat aur khursi sirf 6…bahot nainsafee hai …….

The meeting was about training of four new joinees and some other issues. We were 7 people and in our meeting room there were only six chairs, so one guy would have to stand during the meeting. And that guy was Billi…
Our seniors including Manager claimed their place on available chairs, and Billi was standing beside the Manager.

This was the scenario; Billi (B) was standing beside Manager (M). Everyone was silent for a minute. Manager M started by playing ‘good Manager’ and asked can we start and he stood up, I don’t know why.

Being his first meeting, he thought M is going to address us standing, so the minute M got up, Billi sat on his chair.

Now slightly pissed M first looked at Billi chilling in his chair and then to Ms. X sitting on his left. Being senior she knew ‘this is not good and M is pissed’ so she got up and gave her chair to M.
Billi was still chilling on his chair wondering what is happening.

Now, a girl was standing and all other men sitting, so Mr. R ‘being perfect Gentleman’ gave her his chair. Billi was still chilling on and had no idea what was happening.

Now M again asked ‘Are we ready?’ and our first meeting started and Billi was at the ‘Head of the table’.


Four glasses of Fresh Lime & Fifteen minutes

August 7, 2010

This is story of four graduates aka fresher’s who were from different colleges and excited about their first job.

They got into 24×7 Support Project which included working in 3 rotating shifts. First shift starting from 06:30 a.m. to 04:00 p.m. in which workload wasn’t much, so they keep only one person in this shift mostly senior and experienced one who could handle the shift alone. Second one starting from 01:00 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. and last one from 09:30 p.m. in the night to 07:00 a.m. of next day.

For almost 3 weeks company took time for ID creation and all the accesses that a new joinee would need. It was honeymoon period for them, coming to office on 8:30 in the morning surfing the net, wandering, exploring company surroundings, Lunch at nearby hotels taking their own time without worrying and restaurants ignoring office’ filthy canteen and finally leaving for home at 6:00 o’clock in the evening. Also the Boss was so good to them. They loved their first job.

But after 3 weeks their Team leader segregated them and put two of them in second shift and other two in night shift to train them about the Process. The two in Second Shift, first thing they did was to go out to have lunch for the first time in company canteen and took their own time as usual and returned back after lovely 2 hrs and that’s it they had their first experience of what Boss means.

Boss: “Where were you?”

Guys: “We went out to have pastries after lunch.” They told him just like that.

(During 3 weeks of wonderful period eating pastries after lunch had became routine for them)

Boss: “Do you think this is joke, company’s paying you so that you can have pastries during office hours.  I won’t tolerate this. It is your first and last mistake. I want you here within an hour after lunch. Is that clear?”

Guys:”Yes. We are Sorry!”

Next minute two team members were assigned to show them the process, what and how they would be doing the job. It was horrible. The work they would be doing was terrible. It was worst time they had. They realized why people hate their jobs and mostly the Boss.

For rest of the shift timing they sat behind the team members without uttering a single word and not even thinking of going out for brunch or even to washroom.

At the stroke of 09:30 p.m. other two guys came for their night shift. Looking at those guys afternoon guys wanted to cry on their shoulders. But they behaved as if nothing has happened and they had great time learning about work after 3 weeks of idling, wandering.

So all four went to canteen to see is there anything to eat but nothing looked edible so bought four fresh limes and sat on a corner table telling each other what they did on weekend and talked about movies, planning their next weekend. Guys in second shift told the other two, how they missed their group lunch and that they had to eat here in canteen coz only two can’t afford to eat out. But not a single word about what happened with the boss today and now they were doing something meaning. But truth was that they were embarrassed to death.

At 10:30 Afternoon guys went home in company cab. And now it was Night guys’ turn to learn about work. But as you can guess it was their first day too with their team. You can’t imagine what these two guys did. Boss instructed other team mates to teach them and tell them the Process.

First thing these guys did was to see if any hotels were open at 12:00 o’clock in the night. They went out strolling from one end to other in search of open restaurant and finally found one. They diligently had their dinner. They came back after an hr or two. Had talk with team mates mostly about the cricket match that India won yesterday.

Then approx. at 2 in the night after half an hour they came back, the two got up from Team area and were at the reception to tell the security guy to switch off the corner lights in the office; before that they found out a good place in the corner of the office for sleeping, yes sleeping.

Team members were clueless about their whereabouts. These two came back with tea cups in their hands at 6:45 in the morning and sat there with team sipping the tea slowly, enjoying first light of the day. One the team member had to report to Boss about what these guys did last night; he did it with pleasure without missing any minute details with time stamps of their every move.

Next day whole scenario changed. I mean it was miracle, and a legend that which was shared with four glasses of fresh lime.

The afternoon guys came on time to office, asked permission to go for a lunch, had their lunch briefly, and came back; learnt what teammates taught them and also worked under team mates’ supervision. In short behaved like good boys. At 9:30 p.m. night guys came, waved at Boss as usual. He gave them hardest possible look. Both were clueless. After two minutes they were summoned to Boss. It was their time to be embarrassed in front of team mates and other teams.

Boss:”What did you do last night?”

The question sounded like he knew the answer, still he’s asking.

Guys silent. Again the same shit.

Boss: “Do Company’s paying you for sleeping in office?” blah … blah … blah

Boss waved at other two to come. All four were standing in a row in front of Boss and now being scolded like school children.

Boss: “You guys are useless, still not out of college days…It is not tolerable at all. You had your time when you didn’t have access. Now you better start taking initiative in learning and working. I want you to update me what did you do during the day. Am I clear?”

No answer.

Boss almost shouting “Am I clear?”

Guys: “YES”

And all four went to canteen for their four glasses of Fresh Lime.

And from that day fifteen minutes of Fresh lime became the grapevine session, two in afternoon told everything about what had happened during the day to the night guys and night guys told them about night experiences, mostly whining experiences.

They talked about team mates mostly bitching about them and abusing Boss.

Slowly started talking about bloody work and within a week started talking about vacancies at other places, about post graduation, about MBA.

But funny thing nobody wanted to leave this job, they realized it was to some extent their mistake. No matter what, they never missed their Fresh Lime in canteen.

It actually became relaxing session for all of them and brought them close.

Have you ever wondered how a small thing in one’s life can make one happy and relax?

Like just four glasses of Fresh Lime and fifteen minutes of small talks about work, about Boss, about weekend plans, about girls, about backstabbing team mates, about cricket, football, about anything.

wedding, I attended…

August 2, 2010

Hey…

Recently I attended wedding of my younger cousin sister at my home town… It was just awesome. Being Indian, you cannot afford to hate colorful functions that happen to happen almost 365 days of the year. But attending one such function and that too wedding which is dream of every girl (Actually in India, it is bride’s Parents’ dream and too some extent man’s only chance to you know what…but its changing people say…I don’t see the change though)

So I was at the wedding in colorful Kurta Pyjama which I had to wear, will go into details later. But for now I was well dressed for a little ceremony before big wedding day and waiting for groom and his family and friends to come; chattering usual talks when you meet relatives after a while.  One more reason I love attending close family functions is that you are someone other than just a guest, you have a role to play and I was elder brother of the bride and being of almost same age, a close friend too.

So there I was waiting talking to relatives, here at such parties we meet few relatives, and these are kind of people you only get to meet at the weddings coz both parties (ours and these people) don’t bother to meet at any other places or even invite you to meet at their places. These relatives include Cousin’s in-laws, paternal cousin’s maternal cousins, and some more complicated relations that India is famous about. Personally I sometimes forget my own Aunts’ names (also the count, it’s just slightly close to infinity) and confuse them with altogether different Aunt that I once met somewhere I can’t recollect. One advice, don’t even bother to ask them who you are…then you are just announced dumb in whole your family people. Talk to them like you are highly delighted to meet them.

Typical question at functions is “Where are you now and what do you do now?”

If you have a brother (no matter elder or younger) be sure that you will be confused being the other one. I have a younger brother and everyone forgets our name or just interchanges them, this is the most annoying thing other than the few relatives mostly Aunties you meet at the weddings. And my younger brother looks like my elder brother (how perfect is that!). He’s heighted than me and is more mature than me too.

So they ask me “How’s your Dada?” (My brother doesn’t even call me that) before wedding I joined my first job and had just 8 months experience of working after my graduation. I was 22 at that time and bride and my brother of same age 20. These relatives ask you all sort of questions related to job and simply pesters you, anyways there’s nothing to do for us to do than sitting in front of the stage and look at the rituals done by Bride, groom and the Priest (Guruji, maharaj, bhadaji panditji whatever you call…another character making unending and to an extent impossible demands in the name of god’s offerings for the pooja)

One of my Aunt’s asked me teasingly “You must be very happy that your Dada has got a job, it must be partying time for you…you can buy whatever you want to buy anytime

I smiled uncomfortably and told her “I am that unfortunate Dada being robbed

They ask you “What do you do at office?” “What are office timings?

If you’ve joined software company…questions are familiar and typical “When are you going abroad?”

I being in Support project in a Software company (reputed some people might want to add, but I doubt that), I work in shifts; one of my grandparents brother’s wife (another complicated relation) aged 69 asked me

Do they have a bell or ring notifying that shift is over and now you can go home?

She simply made me a mill worker. I told her no, she was surprised then how you know that shift is over, I told her

We take a look at our watches time to time to see the time

There are endless questions and you have to answer them showing interest and in a way that the question was asked only once and it’s a unique question by only them.

It was one topic to discuss or to pester. Other one is your marriage. Aunts at such functions work as marriage bureau and only they have a perfect girl for you. They don’t talk to you directly. They go round n round talking to you, but with parents they are crystal clear

You’re son is good looking and now has got a good job, it’s time for his marriage” And funny thing there is one eligible girl waiting for us in their vicinity, so they continue “My (another complicated relation here) has a daughter and she has done a fashion designing course and now she’s doing cookery classes”

I mean how perfect, that girl is good cook plus good looks are assumed. These people just can’t give up so easily if said no…another one is ready to be presented.

If said no again then they are in the role of very caring person and tell your parents ‘what has happened to –another complicated relation-‘s son who fell in love with a girl and did inter caste marriage which is gloomy thing happened to that boy’s mother and that girl has made that poor life’s life a hell.

Come on guys, love marriages are not that bad…person marries another one after thinking a lot about that and in India first about our parents. Few makes mistakes, which is human behavior, I guess.

But your mother starts worrying and chooses your clothes for function making you presentable.

Same thing happened to my cousin sister whose wedding I was attending, she dressed for her elder sister’s a year ago in Saari selected by her mother (She wore that Saree for the first time, she told me that afterwards) and now here she is married when she completed her graduation. But now she’s happy.

This used to happen to girls mostly before. But as people say time’s changing this habit also changed.  Other than inter-caste marriages parents have another worry of their son telling them, he like’s men and it’s over.

But at the end you cannot avoid such functions. One thing you can do go prepared and enjoy your time there fullest like I did.

The Real Bollywood Style

May 7, 2009

When I first saw CRO (Cathode Ray Oscilloscope) I didn’t know what it does. I saw it during electronics practical exam in HSC and I had no clue how to use it.

But in engineering, I became thoroughly familiar with CRO and its functions. Although I knew what it does and where it is used. I started to wonder is there any other place other than colleges where CROs are used. I thought only engineering students use it. I’m talking about analog CRO; digital one is so weird and used in variety of places.

 

But movies gave me my answer, the obsolete analog CRO has a bright future though it is now being replaced by multi functional digital CRO. It has a career in Indian Film Industry, our own Bollywood guys.

You won’t believe me but I saw few movies where it is used for very critical operations and serious purpose.

The CRO featured in “Ram Teri Ganga Meili” and two of Dev Anand’s suspense action movies inspired by Hollywood movies.

The Screen Time of Mr. CRO in Ram Teri Ganga Meili

Presenting Mr. CRO

Scene 1:  Here Dadima is very serious and about to die. They give her best medical service at home, oxygen cylinder, Mandir ka Prashad, Ganga Jal and to monitor heartbeat rate Mr. CRO.

If you’ve seen this movie you can observe a simple sine wave is shown generated by the function generator (circled), these are nothing but her last beats guys. Mr. CRO has very serious role.

ram-teri-ganga-meili

 

Scene 2:  Now after last talk with her grandson, Dadima asks for Ganga, he gets her kalash and she says “Yeh nahi pagal, apni Ganga, meri bahurani” and at that instance somebody turns off the function generator oh! Sorry Dadima’s Heartbeats are stopped, she’s dead.

(It’s literally shown by the ground line of CRO).

sine-wave

Grandson looks at the Mr. CRO flat line and runs for a Doctor and his Ma- Babuji.

The Screen Time of Mr. CRO in Dev Anand’s movies:

Scene 1:  Dev Anand a Army man in some movie (don’t remember the name of the movie but it was definitely copy of some Hollywood film) is in his command office and tells his assistant to see if Dushman ka Plane is coming in our region on very own RADAR and assistant turns on the CRO and does some adjustments (of variable button of CRO) and gets a steady sine wave from a high frequency fast moving wave and comes to a conclusion

Sir, apne ilake me koi nahi hai

 

If you see the creative side of Bollywood then Hats Off, as it’s said

“East or West Bollywood’s the BEST”

Little Senti Moment

April 22, 2009

These are going to be my last 2 months in Mumbai and last days of my wonderfcry_lul college life.

So I would like to share all the happiness, sadness and all the humorous, happy, sad, resentful moments that I experienced HERE.

I don’t know where my life will take me after this (definitely a better place). happy face

But I want live with these memories for rest of my life.

It’s a little emotional or senti moment for me …

(Or maybe happy coz engineering is over, I don’t know)

College Fashion Show

April 19, 2009

fashion

This is the story at the eve of college annual function “Trifles”. It’s my final year in college, so all of us decided to attend the function which is actually not so fun for us. Because college does it in very wretched way by booking the neighbor college auditorium, which not so big to take account of all the students and we don’t have sovereignty to enjoy completely. There are so many quizzes but everyone is interested in participating as audience, so those are not so fun since participation is poor and those who participate, Oh! My God, are simply horrible unbearable students. So we don’t usually attend this function.

Only good thing in all the functions is ‘Fashion Show’ competition because girls from other colleges take part and it’s like ecstasy for our (boys!) eyes.

Someone has said “99% of the girls are beautiful and remaining 1% are in my college” so we watch out for competitors (and cheer for them too) from other colleges.

I’ll get back to the topic, so this was my last time to attend the ‘Fashion Show’ and I went to watch it at the scheduled time forgetting its IST, Indian Stretchable Time. The show started 2 hours late, so to keep audience engaged, actually auditorium we were using in other college was a HSC exam centre, so to keep crowd quiet they started another competition ‘Personality Test’ and it was a disaster. Crowd could’ve sat quietly if they wouldn’t have started this show. The crowd became completely out of control that that college’s Principal threatened us (not us, actually our college authority) that they won’t allow our college to use their auditorium again.

Watching her (Principal of other college) shout at our prof. was entertaining than watching that catastrophic Personality contest.

So after long wait fashion show finally began, there were 3 groups from other college and one from our college (Which no one was interested in).

The guests were designer Rohit Varma, some model,I forgot her name (Bgaurav-dagoankarut still remember her face) who is an engineer too and an alumni Gaurav Dagaonkar (in pic) singer of famous song ‘College Days’ and one more male model.

Guess which group performed first, undoubtedly our college group. It was unbelievably excellent; the girls were looking so elegant, stunning, gorgeous blah blah!!! Everyone was where were all these girls these years and it was like if our college can perform so well then we were sure we are going to witness good quality stuff today. (Pardon me, but there are no other words to describe it)

So our college’s theme was love, marriage and sex (do you believe that this word was used in college function, its Mumbai anything can happen), erosion of the queen of some group of ‘adiwasis’ and so much more. It started, it was enjoyable at the initial stage then it became literally vulgar (I mean more enjoyable and erotic). Cloths (Or costumes whatever) were all old times tribal, like if something goes wrong on stage cloths will come off. (I mean what the girls were thinking, when they decided to wore those costumes) They used a song in the background called ‘Anan Panan’ something like that. The song was good to hear. (Everyone one was like should we support them or not)ramp

Then one after the other groups performed and we were  like wow! All were definitely generation next type performances leaving behind the Indian culture or whatever. Costumes used were damn good, themes oh my god and girls what can I say. Background score varied from Nayan Barse from Dev D to Pussycat dolls’ ‘Don’t ya wish’ to ‘Wake me up inside’ to some Hyderabadi song (our college theme in 2nd round was of prostitutes or mujra walis, err it was gross)

And facial expressions were enticing and teasing. That was the best part, I guess.

The last group was from girl’s college and it was totally rapture performance. They even got a one’s more response and even a standing ovation from my college crowd who is never supportive (Jitna mar sakta hai utana marne ki koshish karega). All the girls were too attractive and one important thing everyone was in limit (except one she was too bold), costumes were comparatively decent and themes were attention grabbin’ and it was fun watching them perform.

skirt

The Girl’s college group won the contest and it was well deserved win. It’s not that they were good; every performance was above anyone’s imaginations, all sexy (!). But other group’s definition of ‘sexy’ was to expose to arouse (that even our Vice Principal ma’am went out watching this indecency)

The winners were sexy in looks and decent to look at.

rohit-vermaThe fun part is that the designer guy (he was totally behaving weird or it was new to me, I don’t know) said also “It was embarrassing to see the vulgar fashion show” and he was gnashing his teeth fuming (I think because everyone started making fun when he came on stage).

Then the engineer model came to cool off the atmosphere saying ‘I’m also engineer, I was expecting much more from you guyz, where is all the creativity and all that blah blah blah’

(Everyone was probably witnessing Fashion show of that grade for the first time and we thought what more could they’ve done than this yaar.)

This doesn’t end here, next day my friends debated for an hour about the fashion show, that it was indecent, filthy and vulgar. But nobody said anything while watching, rather everyone was shouting, gave a round of applause and now after guests said so and Vice Principal got out, they changed their opinion that it was vulgar (Its wrong that is what I thought).

Prelude to a Kiss

April 14, 2009

Few days ago I read an article in a newspaper about facts regarding KISS. It was so irrelevant (I thought!) to the topic of kissing. It was about what you actually share other than passion and love when you KISS someone. They even have a scientific name for kissing, snogging, osculating and bussing which is “Philematology.”

It had all the survey results and all that to prove the facts. Even now in this modern era talking about sex or KISS is like violating the “Good Family” rules in Indian culture, but anyways my parents are not going to read this … so no problem.

So here’s the little review of that article. It said –

During a really, really passionate kiss, you might burn three calories a minute. (This compares to 11.2 calories per minute you burn jogging on a treadmill.)

So I guess the author wanted to say the longer the kiss…the better the exercise!

But if your motivation for kissing is to burn calories, you’re in trouble, real bad trouble. Because the real feminists say that women can tell if a relationship is going to work after the first kiss. (If it’s after the lusciousness of first kiss then maybe it’s ok)

In western countries every time you talk about love the conversation moves towards the bedroom. Funny thing is that one third of American-made movies have been westerns. The first western movie was titled, “The Kiss.” The German language contains 30 words that refer to the act of kissing.

There is even a word, Nachkuss, for all the kisses that haven’t yet been named.

But in India (Bollywood and to some extent real lives) it revolveno-kissing-in-india21s around trees and lovely scenarios from western country.

So to pull us out of the mundane and the ordinary and take us into moments of the extraordinary every Indian should read this and at least know about the HEALTHY side of kissing.

So the article said –

During a kiss people exchange about 278 of different bacteria, 95% from which are non-dangerous. Couples transfer an average of 9 milligrams of water, 0.7 milligrams of protein, 0.18 milligrams of organic matter, 0.71 milligrams of fat and 0.45 milligrams of salt to each other with each open-mouthed kiss. (I wonder how they got these readings.)

Your lips are 100 times more sensible than the tips of your fingers. A real kiss quickens your pulse to 100 beats in a minute.

Men who kiss their wives every morning before going to work live 5 years longer than all others.

Snogging helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva it creates helps clean out your mouth. (Gross!!!!)

I didn’t know Kissing is an investigatory process.

Now some world records regarding the act of kissing.

The world kissing record has been won in Mexico City when 39,897 people in the Zocalo [Main Square] locked lips for ten seconds on 14th February 2009. The world’s longest kiss took place in New York City, lasting 30 hours, 59 minutes, and 27 seconds. (Why couldn’t this couple hang on for another 33 seconds to complete the 31st hour? Huh!) A passionate kiss uses 29 facial muscles. (You know you can use all if you want, no rather if you can. ha-ha)

Up till this I thought the article is real investigatory but I didn’t know these survey guys are so desperate and dim-witted to get all the information about Kissing that they even tested the animals. In animal world a kiss of a chimpanzee resembles human kiss very much. Other animals (horses, dogs) also kiss, but in a different way.

When chimpanzees kiss, “it’s with a deep French kiss,They do it for all kinds of reasons — there’s social kissing, kissing to relieve tension, to express friendship, to make up after an argument. (The article said)

kiss

It even has a bad news for serial Kissers

The average woman uses up approximately her height in lipstick every five years and “eats up” about 2.5 lipstick pieces per year. Her sexual partner also “suffers” from a certain dose of chemicals, which makes about 0.7 lipstick pieces per year.

Herpes is called a “kissing disease”, because it’s communicated with kissing. (yakkk!!!)

And a real bad news is that a long-lasting kiss quickens the pulse and heightens level of hormones in human’s blood so much that it shortens the life almost for 1 minute.

In Naples, Italy, in the 16th century, bussing was an offence that carried the death penalty. (Ouch)

An average woman kisses about 79 men before getting married. (Obviously not in India, I guess, Huh!)

An average person spends two weeks of his or her life kissing. (Just two weeks, Oh!)

And to summarize whole article conclusion is that don’t confuse great sex with a cardiovascular workout.

“Kissing is passion and romance and what keeps people together,” says William Michael Cane, author of The Art of Kissing. (Funny thing about Cane is that he visits colleges to lecture on Kissing, now that’s something.)

Its Prelude because I’m single yet.

Why is there no Nobel Prize in Mathematics?

April 14, 2009

Six Nobel Prizes are awarded each year in literature, physics, chemistry, peace, economics, and physiology & medicine. If you’ve noticed award in Mathematics is absent from this list. This even I came to know recently and wanted to know why Maths is not included, so after searching I got this result, and the result is so funny (?)

Nobel prizes were created by the will of Alfred Nobel, a Swedish chemist.

One of the most unfounded reasons as to why Nobel decided against a Nobel Prize in math is that a woman he loved rejected him because of (or cheated him with) a famous mathematician.

Gosta Mittag-Leffler is often claimed to be the guilty party.

There is no historical evidence to support the story.

nobelprize

But one thing is all known that Mr. Nobel was never married.

One more thing a chief purpose for creating the Nobel Foundation was to honor people who do something practical to help humanity.

And Mathematics was not considered a practical science from which humanity could benefit.

Further, at the time there existed already a well known Scandinavian prize for mathematicians. If Nobel knew about this prize he may have felt less compelled to add a competing prize for mathematicians in his will.

I guess you didn’t know this………………..