Prelude to a Kiss

Few days ago I read an article in a newspaper about facts regarding KISS. It was so irrelevant (I thought!) to the topic of kissing. It was about what you actually share other than passion and love when you KISS someone. They even have a scientific name for kissing, snogging, osculating and bussing which is “Philematology.”

It had all the survey results and all that to prove the facts. Even now in this modern era talking about sex or KISS is like violating the “Good Family” rules in Indian culture, but anyways my parents are not going to read this … so no problem.

So here’s the little review of that article. It said –

During a really, really passionate kiss, you might burn three calories a minute. (This compares to 11.2 calories per minute you burn jogging on a treadmill.)

So I guess the author wanted to say the longer the kiss…the better the exercise!

But if your motivation for kissing is to burn calories, you’re in trouble, real bad trouble. Because the real feminists say that women can tell if a relationship is going to work after the first kiss. (If it’s after the lusciousness of first kiss then maybe it’s ok)

In western countries every time you talk about love the conversation moves towards the bedroom. Funny thing is that one third of American-made movies have been westerns. The first western movie was titled, “The Kiss.” The German language contains 30 words that refer to the act of kissing.

There is even a word, Nachkuss, for all the kisses that haven’t yet been named.

But in India (Bollywood and to some extent real lives) it revolveno-kissing-in-india21s around trees and lovely scenarios from western country.

So to pull us out of the mundane and the ordinary and take us into moments of the extraordinary every Indian should read this and at least know about the HEALTHY side of kissing.

So the article said –

During a kiss people exchange about 278 of different bacteria, 95% from which are non-dangerous. Couples transfer an average of 9 milligrams of water, 0.7 milligrams of protein, 0.18 milligrams of organic matter, 0.71 milligrams of fat and 0.45 milligrams of salt to each other with each open-mouthed kiss. (I wonder how they got these readings.)

Your lips are 100 times more sensible than the tips of your fingers. A real kiss quickens your pulse to 100 beats in a minute.

Men who kiss their wives every morning before going to work live 5 years longer than all others.

Snogging helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva it creates helps clean out your mouth. (Gross!!!!)

I didn’t know Kissing is an investigatory process.

Now some world records regarding the act of kissing.

The world kissing record has been won in Mexico City when 39,897 people in the Zocalo [Main Square] locked lips for ten seconds on 14th February 2009. The world’s longest kiss took place in New York City, lasting 30 hours, 59 minutes, and 27 seconds. (Why couldn’t this couple hang on for another 33 seconds to complete the 31st hour? Huh!) A passionate kiss uses 29 facial muscles. (You know you can use all if you want, no rather if you can. ha-ha)

Up till this I thought the article is real investigatory but I didn’t know these survey guys are so desperate and dim-witted to get all the information about Kissing that they even tested the animals. In animal world a kiss of a chimpanzee resembles human kiss very much. Other animals (horses, dogs) also kiss, but in a different way.

When chimpanzees kiss, “it’s with a deep French kiss,They do it for all kinds of reasons — there’s social kissing, kissing to relieve tension, to express friendship, to make up after an argument. (The article said)

kiss

It even has a bad news for serial Kissers

The average woman uses up approximately her height in lipstick every five years and “eats up” about 2.5 lipstick pieces per year. Her sexual partner also “suffers” from a certain dose of chemicals, which makes about 0.7 lipstick pieces per year.

Herpes is called a “kissing disease”, because it’s communicated with kissing. (yakkk!!!)

And a real bad news is that a long-lasting kiss quickens the pulse and heightens level of hormones in human’s blood so much that it shortens the life almost for 1 minute.

In Naples, Italy, in the 16th century, bussing was an offence that carried the death penalty. (Ouch)

An average woman kisses about 79 men before getting married. (Obviously not in India, I guess, Huh!)

An average person spends two weeks of his or her life kissing. (Just two weeks, Oh!)

And to summarize whole article conclusion is that don’t confuse great sex with a cardiovascular workout.

“Kissing is passion and romance and what keeps people together,” says William Michael Cane, author of The Art of Kissing. (Funny thing about Cane is that he visits colleges to lecture on Kissing, now that’s something.)

Its Prelude because I’m single yet.

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2 Responses to “Prelude to a Kiss”

  1. Layog Says:

    Hilaious

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